I next asked her if other parents were in attendance for their 2025 Family Halloween Party, in addition to Scott and Delia. Her response: “? Why would our Halloween have anything to do with you or the exchange program.”
I told her it was because their party was on the German exchange program schedule provided to us by the school. Her response: “Correct. Since my exchange student did not have many opportunities to socialize with the other German students, we offer a small get together for the kids from 8pm to 10pm, which included pizza, hot dogs, soda, s'mores around the fire pit, basketball/corn hole, etc. However very few kids showed up. I was told many had other plans/parties they were going to around town. Which was fine, it was a busy night with a lot going on.”
I asked her how she got my text, since I did not have her contact info. “Scott is super busy at work and just ask me to text you as I have been the one more involved with the German program.” Based on her stated involvement, I asked if she was in the What’s App group, curious if she had seen the discussion from parents that demanded accountability from them. She responded that she was not, as “tech stuff” is not her strength.
When I showed her response to a fellow parent whose kid attended the party, about how “very few kids showed up” to the Whittemore’s s’mores around the fire pit party, the parent expressed: “Wow. Just…wow!”
A parent not in the German exchange program this year was hearing details about the party, and then realized that their own kid was also at the party. It was widely attended.
As Kim and I ended our text chat, she requested that I write a positive article about the program, saying: “I would love to see an article to support the program. A lot of time, [effort] and money has gone into growing it over the years.”
New York’s Hosting Law
According to the New York based law firm Salenger, Sack, Kimmel & Bavaro: “New York’s Social Host Law, outlined in N.Y. General Obligations Law § 11-100, imposes liability on individuals over 18 who knowingly allow minors (under 21) to consume alcohol on property they own, lease, or control. This includes private residences, rental properties, and other venues. The law aims to deter underage drinking by holding hosts accountable for the safety and actions of their underage guests.”
According to the law firm, hosts have key responsibilities, and to comply with the Social Host Law, should:
Prevent Underage Drinking: Ensure that no alcohol is served to or consumed by individuals under 21.
Take Immediate Action: If underage drinking is discovered, promptly intervene by stopping the consumption and, if necessary, contacting parents or law enforcement.
Monitor Guest Behavior: Be vigilant about guests’ alcohol consumption to prevent over-intoxication and potential accidents.
Questions Asked To German Program Leadership & Party Host Parents
As a parent, and not as a reporter, I had emailed Beacon High School Principal Dr. Corey Dwyer, Dr. Landahl and Ms. Calaf the week after the party. I stated my support for the program in my first paragraph, and then went on to state how surprised I was that no one was discussing Friday night’s incident with us.
Still having a child in Middle School, I’m used to trips with Principal Soltish, where he and other teachers accompany students to Boston and DC, and update parents relentlessly. There are in-person prep meetings, constant text reminders about deadlines, and during the trip, assurances that all kids are back in their hotel rooms - and not sneaking out (at least that they know of).
This German experience - while Beacon kids did not travel - was just a shock. At least from a communication and accountability perspective. The thought of sending my child to Germany with this same set of standards was questionable. I do not know if I am the only one who emailed.
Dr. Dwyer sent a message to Beacon parents a short time later, saying:
“I want to begin by thanking you for opening your homes and welcoming our visiting students from Germering. We are appreciative of the time and energy you have devoted to providing them with a memorable experience.
“We have become aware that a social gathering attended by both Beacon and Germering students, where alcohol was present, took place on Halloween night. No school officials from Beacon or Germering were present, and the school had no knowledge that alcohol would be served at this gathering. While the district cannot be responsible for what takes place in private homes in situations where no school official is present, we take seriously our responsibility to facilitate a positive, educational, and culturally enriching experience for all participants. We were disappointed to learn about this situation.
“As you know, this was a parent- and PTSO-led exchange for the past three years. Our priority for these last few days is to help ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all participants. After our visiting students return home, we will take time to carefully review this year’s exchange. We will be in touch in the coming weeks.”
The Decision For ALBB TO WRite This Article
The amount of peer pressure from some of my adult friends within this exchange program to not write this article has been immense. I was told it was “not newsworthy,” would get the program canceled, and would harm kids who were at the party, as well as negatively impact the social comfort of my own family. Meanwhile, other friends have asked me why the police have not been called on the adult party hosts.
Writing this article was nowhere near my Editorial Calendar Bingo Card. Several other issues are scheduled for long-form deep dives. We are in the middle of a SNAP hunger crisis, and for the school, I had planned to write an article celebrating the new students brought onto the Beacon Board of Education.
A parent from the program reached out to me to ask me to write a letter of support for the program to Dr. Dwyer. I let the parent know that I already had vocalized my support, and also my concern. The parent then asked me not to write an article, as ALBB’s article would surely end the program. I responded that any article done here would not end the program, it would be providing information, and that the Whittemore’s behavior would be what ended the program, if that happened, which I thought unlikely, because exchange programs exist all over the world and are common and enriching for students.
The parent pressed me further after I spoke about having prior hints of the potential for alcohol. The parent expressed that they wished I had told them, so that parents could have made different choices sending their kids to the party. I responded that I only had speculative knowledge, and did not want to pass gossip. They disagreed.
I told them that they were asking me for a conflicting duality:
To tell them privately about my hesitation and why.
To not tell the public about what later became fact, so as not to jeopardize the program.
I then told them that they were pushing me very hard, harder than they were pushing the school or party hosts for accountability, and that I make choices for my own life and that of my children, and do not extend my choices as assumptions onto others.
My core guided me to publishing. If I was receiving this much pressure from my adult friends, I was reminded what pressure kids feel when they are in social settings that they may or may not want to be in. So I published. In the hopes of bringing this to light in case it is helpful to others.
What is the Future Of The German Exchange Program?
Dr. Landahl emailed Beacon parents on Friday afternoon. He said:
“I am writing to invite you to a meeting on Wednesday, November 19, at 7:00 p.m. in the LGI room at Beacon High School to discuss potential ways the program can move forward in June/July.
“Corey Dwyer reached out to you on November 4th and stated that we would review the program in light of the party at a family’s house on Halloween, where students and exchange students accessed alcohol. The party highlights a significant challenge in the program, specifically that we are unable to supervise students either here in Beacon or in Germany outside of school hours or official school events. After speaking at length with Dr. Dwyer and the teachers involved in the program, both past and present, I have determined that it is not appropriate for our staff to be involved in the travel to Germany either officially as representatives of the district or unofficially as paid by the BHS PTO, as has been done in the past. This is something with which we are all in agreement.
“I know this is disappointing news, as many of you have reached out to me over the past few days, highlighting the successes of the program, and I appreciate hearing those stories. I know that the program has positively impacted dozens of students over the past three years. The teachers involved have also shared these positive stories with me.
“The purpose of the meeting on November 19th will be to explore the possibility of students still visiting their host families in Germany this summer, with parents and/or community members overseeing the program and providing supervision. It will also be a time to share any thoughts or concerns you may have.”
After this email went out, two parents went to the What’s App group, demanding accountability of the Whittemore’s. One parent tagged Scott in the app, but Scott did not respond.
How are the kids handling this?
From what I could tell, the German delegates were updating their Beacon parents with what their German teachers were telling them. Some German and Beacon students were surprised that the Whittemore’s had not been brought up at all as being an issue that needed dealt with. One German student said that it felt…they searched for the word in English and found it: “irresponsible.”
The kids are very upset that the program has been distanced from the school. When the Germans arrived at the Beacon High School the night they flew in, the Beacon kids were ecstatic. Jumping around like cheerleaders, and whisking “their Germans” away to feed them dinner at 10pm.
The kids are communicating to see if they can still go to Germany in any way. As a parent, I am exploring possibilities to connect with our German delegate family privately, not within a group.
There was GAPP insurance connected to this experience, which might have been impacted by the breach of alcohol. As a reporter, I am awaiting an answer on that. Otherwise, as a parent, I am balancing my student’s desire to explore Europe with her new German friend, and other Beacon friends if that coordinates.
Also - budget. That’s a lot of dollars. I just paid mortgage today. Which was a big win. But the electric heating bill is coming.
Back to work!
